I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
