Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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