I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
