It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
