I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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