I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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