I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I cannot find my penis.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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