I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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