I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
