If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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