Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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