dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
