I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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