worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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