Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You need a sexual gate keeper
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
