Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
