guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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