He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
They have beer where we have blood.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
