i don't like sucking hair
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You are the jesus of drinking
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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