My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
