thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
