actually, I'm a sock model
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
