So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
