Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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