I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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