a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
did you just send me my own nude
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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