honey bunches of taint.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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