Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
please come you make the beer taste better
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Randomize
