A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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