i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
