She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
