Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
