I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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