This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Boobs speak an international language.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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