I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize