I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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