i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
