they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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