North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I love having hate sex.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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