so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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