thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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