if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Come share oat with me in your robe
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
