You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
