yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You're like the curious george of whores
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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