I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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