So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
