even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
