You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There r osticjed everywhere
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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