How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I will be naked everywhere
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
