it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
