I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
