Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
