I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
