if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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